If you think my life is a bed of roses,
you are wrong.
I don't like how I look,
especially after what Xuan said to me at the set yesterday.
"...Hey, I don't remember that you this thin 2mths ago..."
"... You look really tired, I need more intensity from ya eyes..."
"...Can you look as hyper & having fun like what you did at casting?"
"Please try to rest in the journey to the next location..."
To make things worse,
I dunno why the MUA didn't try 100% to cover my dark circles & marks left from my new pimples.
I felt horrible & ugly.
Totally digusted at the face I see in the mirror.
I had to look really smiley for the job.
Totally digusted at the face I see in the mirror.
I had to look really smiley for the job.
Not getting enough beauty rest has damaged my pretty skin.
Causes outbreaks & wrecked my life, totally!
I forced myself to zz early every night but I just can't sleep tight.
My brains won't stop working & thinking!
Argh...
Even bf thinks I look haggard/ sick.
Something has to be done...
Meanwhile, I'm just hibernating at home....
PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO PARTY.
I have a wedding to go this weekends.
I don't want to look bad.
Gosh.
Do I really need to go back on sleeping pills?
Comforting thing to do?
Rash & amazingly unlike me...
Ice cream, fast food, potato chips, instant noodles, chocolates & jelly beans daily...
Not that I enjoyed eating crap...
Matter of fact I feel like throwing out each time i stuff those gross things into my mouth.
I had to do something to distract me.
Else my artilleries are going to choke.
---
I told him what's bothering me, in a candid way
Cos' I didn't want to worry him.
Not sure if he took my words seriously.
Good news is that he thought of planning a little retreat next week,
if his schedule allows... (no last min meetings...)
Spend some days together & doing things that helps me relax & zzz well.
I'm looking forward to some therapy sessions.
Hopefully they will help.
xoxo
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