In a daze

It's so hot & humid today I wished I can shoot the sun down!

I used to be a sun worshipper but things changed....

People do change, don't we?
I miss DD alot...

Whenever I don't see him, my mind is constantly about him...
When we meet up, we will always end up in a fight.

Why? What's wrong with us nowadays?

Month of March was crazy, and month of April was crazier! I'm at the verge of breaking down.... Too many changes at a go. The most upseting part is that DD can't see how I was struggling and be my pillar of support. I have yet to get over the news that my beloved granny is gone and I'm very unlikely to fulfill her last wish. I know she meant well for me, but is he the right one?

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Thank God for people around me giving me constant support, lending me a listening ear, including the brainwashing to keep me motivated.. and of course, DD somewhat catching me when I fell at the end of the road. I'm sick of people telling me they believe I have what it takes to succeed. Thank you for believing me. I just want to get things done. Perhaps my way isn't the best way. Along the route, I have somehow accidentally caused inconvenience to some of you. I'm sorry. I don't mean to make life difficult for you guys. I'm doing what I need to to achieve my own target, that's all. The more compliments I get, the more stress & anxiety I have... I'm trying so hard that people around me are starting to build a wall between us. Is my thrist for power and success intimidating you? Honestly, I don't play politics. Neither am I bothered by jealousy. I just wish us well. What hurts me is that you guys don't see/feel my sincerity. Seriously, I don't need to be nice to you. I just want all of us to be able to work under one roof.

No one on Earth can be 100% independent. I'm trying. Can you?